Editing "How Liberals Behave the Way They Do"

First off, I apologize for not including the editing graphics (comment boxes, strike-throughs, etc.).  I did not catch that part of the assignment until I had already finished editing and found it counterproductive to go back just to insert them.  I also did not feel that there was an overwhelming amount of commentary needed or grammatical errors to correct using those tools.

There was, though, a lot of restructuring that I felt needed to be done.  In the original text, claims were made, but the evidence and support did not show up until four paragraphs later.  Since the piece was already set up in short paragraphs pertaining to topic, it was fairly easy to rearrange them into the proper, flowing order.  For example, I placed most of the information and research on Le Bon in the same section of the text rather than scattered throughout as it had been before.  Also, the author initially stated that Democrats ignored the mathematical facts, but those facts were not found until much later on the page.  It made more sense to me as a reader to put the facts first.

The new order not only made sense, but strengthened the arguments and claims made by the author.  By providing support right away, the claims were not just left floating and waiting for further explanation.

A few commas were moved around, but other than that, the punctuation did not require too much attention.  I changed “effected” to “affected” because it was supposed to act as a verb in the context of the piece.

I found it difficult to edit this piece without seeing it in its original form.  I searched using the provided link, but the site said the page could not be found.  Personally I do not keep up with politics, so I did not know whether some words were specific movements or acts that needed capitalization (proper nouns) and other politics-specific details.

-erp